The Erotics of Creation

When I began finding ‘my place’ in pole dancing, there was a new sensation that began to stir within me. Elsewhere, this feeling had been elusive for quite some time but it was nonetheless familiar. I could not name it readily, but somehow, I knew it. As I allowed myself to sink deeper into this space, letting my body surrender to that echoing current that drove my movement, I came to understand what it was.

At this particular time in my life, eros had become estranged. Known only through the external that one is expected to then act upon. I did not feel a particular engagement with it any more outside of those supposedly intimate moments that are ubiquitous to life. While this was not always the case, it was jarring to see just how distant my own existence had become from it. And then I danced.

I remember noticing the warmth of the pole against my spine whilst I circling my hips as though I were conjuring something. Or perhaps even excavating. I was piqued. What was this I wondered and why did it feel so good? The feeling grew with each dance session that grew increasingly undirected. I would walk into the studio, exploring different sounds, and allow myself to become awash in whatever direction my body wanted to go. Minutes became hours that would melt into each other as I slowly writhed to a symphony of different harmonies guided only by intuition and curiosity. And once more, I would sink. And in doing so, I (re)discovered what I had been sensing: the erotic.

But the location had changed. It was more visceral. More internal. Only traversed through feeling and instinct. From the rolls of my neck, to undulation of my chest, down to the waves of my legs, and the tempo of my breath. I reveled in this space and in it, I found a kind of reservoir from which I could create in ways that I had not before. Not to be consumed, but to be connected. Nourished. Grounded. Held. From the rolls of my head, to undulation of my chest, down to the waves of my legs, the creation of slow intentional movement stirred the erotic within me. And thus, the erotic has become the portal by which I experience myself.

On my own terms.
Unequivocally.
Without judgement.

To those who read this, I invite you to explore the erotic. Disappear in it for a while. See what you find.

Until next time.